on receiving support
and conscious contracts (an essay)
I logged on the other day to see I had a “pledge” of support. I didn’t quite understand what this meant. I’d never turned on paid subscriptions here, for a whole host of reasons.
mostly I didn’t want people to have to pay to read my writing. I don’t really write in order to be rewarded with anything except perhaps for my own clarity, and more understanding of the world I live in (and the people who inhabit it).
but I’ve had these nudges lately. towards receiving. and what that means.
there’s a theme that runs through my long-form writing about unconscious contracts. I feel I’ve been subject to many of them in my life, starting in childhood. so much has been done to me in my life. people might say “without consent”. but that addendum isn’t necessary. to be done to is to control. it’s obvious in its naming. and there’s a lot to unravel if one is to try and sort this out, to heal and move forward.
to recover is to see we have a choice. a choice to acknowledge wha…